My Blogher Experience: There’s nothing like the first time.

This post is ridiculously long.

If you don’t know what Blogher is, are not related to me and have something,  anything, else you could be doing right now, skip this post.

I went to Blogher this past weekend with the expectation that I’d be attending a great conference with killer content. Don’t get me wrong, I was also looking forward to meeting all sorts of people, but when I drop $1500.00 to go to a conference (airfare and hotel included there), I’m kinda hoping to learn something.

As a result of focusing so much on the content, I neglected to realize one thing: I was going alone.

Going alone to a conference in a different city isn’t something that concerns me. But Blogher is different. Blogher is really about connecting with your online community. It’s a chance to cut loose, party, bond, form partnerships and plan business ventures.

It’s a networking conference, both between bloggers and bloggers as well as bloggers and brands, that has the added bonus of having amazing communities that throw kick-ass parties. (The cake at one of the parties was made by the Ace of Cakes!)

I did get to meet almost everyone I wanted to meet (damn you, Allison!) and every single one of them was kind and friendly and pretty much just as I’d expected them to be. Except for The New Girl. She just blew me away. We barely know each other online, but when she saw me she came at me with open arms and smile so big. Wow.

And I did get to watch a panel with, and then meet!,  Julie and Jenny (The Bloggess), which I have to say was the highlight of the trip. A close second would be when I overheard Kristen say to Liz, “That’s Julie!” when my back was turned at the buffet line. I think it was was the only time someone approached me, rather than the other way around.

It’s a daunting thing to walk into a ginormous room and not know a soul. And the conference is so bloody big, and the number of bloggers I know so small, and the amount of bloggers I actually read even smaller… well, you get the picture.

AndreAnna was incredible to me. She graciously let me tag along for dinner when she was going out with a group of friends she obviously doesn’t get to spend that much time with.

And how did I repay her? I went to see the one Broadway show she was dying to see. HOW WAS I TO KNOW?

I got to meet Jonna and that was amazing. Another person who is 100% real and exactly as I imagined her to be. And I got that even though I only exchanged a few words with her on a couple of occasions.

And Cass. She is unbelievable and amazing and I owe her dinner. Go read her blog. I’ll wait.

But it seemed that every time I sat down next to people I’d been looking forward to meet, they’d be on there way elsewhere. I would literally sit down among a group of 3 or 4 people, and within minutes they’d all get up and walk away. Which is totally fine, but man, did it make me feel like I could clear a room.

I get that all of these people had established relationships and limited time to spend together. As a result, I was bound to feel like a third wheel. So I quickly learned to be okay with that, because this is how friendships start.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was how I’d react when I was finally face to face with all these people I’d been dying to meet. After reading their blogs, corresponding with them through email and twitter, I had virtually nothing to say.

In fact, every time I bumped into Kristen, the author of the first mommy blog I ever read, the blogger who through her actions taught me about community, the only thing I could think to say to her 8-month pregnant self was, “Wow, I can’t believe you’re still awake.”

WTF?

I consider myself a pretty sociable person. I know how to talk. But I was struck dumb every time I met someone new. Almost. Wow, is that girl easy to talk to.

On the last night of the conference, I got to spend time with Emma and Karen and Rebecca and met some other really great people that I just connected with and for the first time, I thought, Oh, I see how this could have been fun.

But some things just didn’t work for me. Like the actual sessions. At 1.5 hours each, they were too long. Only 3 sessions a day, 6 for the entire conference.

Some blocks had 3 panels I wanted to attend, while other time slots held nothing of interest for me. Cut the panels down to 50 minutes and we could have had 5 slots a day and spread out the programming. Just saying.

Also,while  most of the ones I attended were entertaining (see above re: Jenny) and interesting, there was little take-away value for me. It was more anecdotal and personal experience than educational. (Save the geek panels, of course.)

During one time slot when there was nothing of interest for me, I went for a walk and found myself in Times Square. At the TKTS half-price booth. At 1:50 pm.

Next thing I knew, I was sitting in the Broadway theatre, watching Sean Hayes and Kristen Chenoweth in Promises, Promises. Now there’s a take-away.

I guess it should have been a clue when there were more party attendees than people present for the keynotes.

And something funny happens to people, myself included, when there is swag to be had. I wasn’t whorish about it. In fact, I think my only transgression was returning to the Dora booth to get a second t-shirt for my son. But I had to physically prevent myself from accepting swag from certain sponsors, stuff I knew I would never use.

But man, I wish I’d scored a few more of those Assets. (No. I wasn’t paid for that. I didn’t even get the ones I wanted.)

Yet still, 15 minutes into a poorly attended but fascinating closing keynote, I found myself thinking, Hmm, the expo is shutting down. Wonder if I can snag me a couple more Weebles.

AND THEN I LEFT THE KEYNOTE.

Right outside the door, I bumped into a couple of women carrying away boxes of Weebles. I gave them a quizzical look.

“You want some?” she asked me.

“Sure.”

“Over there,” she nodded her head towards the opposite wall, where boxes of Weebles were stacked.

I grabbed one.

Ashamed to return to the keynote with a freaking BOX of Weebles, I dropped them off in my room. As a result, I missed a third of the keynote. It’s fucking shameful.

The whole weekend was a whirlwind of emotional turmoil, self-discovery and enjoying some truly enthralling company.

But in all honesty, my biggest regret about the whole thing was my last minute decision not to bring my jeans. I read so much pre-Blogher hoo-ha about what everyone was wearing that I figured I better clean up my act. So I went shopping.

I bought a whole whack of sundresses and just to make sure I didn’t feel like a complete dork, I started wearing them to work a few weeks in advance, as if I could ‘break in’ a new look.

To ensure I didn’t chicken out, I took my only pair of jeans out of the suitcase right before taxi picked me up for the airport.

What I failed to realize was that I was reading the posts of about 20 people. In a crowd of 25 HUNDRED. My heart sank when I saw people walking around in jeans and shorts and capris.

I wanted my fucking pants.

***

tl;dr – To ensure a successful Blogher experience, do your research before spending large sums of money, have an open mind, be friendly and get comfortable in your own skin.

Still tl;dr - I’m a self-indulgent asshole.