The other night, after the kids went to bed, I sat down on the couch intending to watch some television. It used to be that after the kids went to bed, I sat down on the couch to write a post, but lately things have gone in a different direction.
My hand reached for the remote, but instead picked up my smart phone. Oh, well, I figured. I’ll just play a few games of Draw Something.
A few games turned into a few more and after an hour passed I realized that it was too late to watch anything on television, much less start writing a post.
Oh, well, I consoled myself, at least I played a fun game with some good friends.
But that didn’t sound right either. I hadn’t actually played a game with any of my friends. In fact, in all likelihood, my friends probably weren’t even online while I was taking my turn. And this is completely discarding the fact that I considered spending time playing a game online spending time with friends.
How in the world did things get so fucked up?
Last week, I was at a conference where I had the privilege of seeing Clay Shirky deliver a keynote address. It was an inspiring talk and one of the things he pointed out was that some of the greatest things we’ve built on the Internet were done by people who were not employees of the site they contributed to – in fact, most of the most incredible things on the Internet were built by people in their spare time.
He used Wikipedia to demonstrate, as it’s the most obvious example. After some “back of the napkin math, but in the right order of magnitude” as he said, he figured it took 100 million man hours over 10 years to build Wikipedia. Sounds impressive, no?
So he compared that number to something else people do with their spare time: watch television. Once again he did the math and determined that we could build another Wikipedia in the same amount of time Americans spend watching television commercials. In one weekend.
And I whittle away my time playing Draw Something.
Now I’m not saying I should spend every spare moment creating something great and meaningful, but man, the amount of time I waste on games and dicking around the Internet, it’s insane.
I could be reading, or even watching TV. I know, I know, it’s television, but I get real pleasure out of watching great writing come alive on screen. I don’t watch nearly as much as I used to, but it is an art form, and I appreciate it as such. Plus, it’s a great way to just shrug off the ickiness from a bad day.
And of course, I could be writing. I should be writing. I have 2 distinct projects I should be working on, but I’m not. All my spare time is being sucked up by less important things. But easier things.
It’s easy to spend some time on Facebook, interact with a few people, and feel I’ve spent quality time with friends. But when’s the last time I went out for coffee, dinner or a even a drink with a friend? Hell, I barely even talk to them on the phone anymore.
It’s convenient. We all have such busy lives now, that it’s often impossible to connect at the same time. Varying bedtime routines, work schedules and general lifestyles interfere with being able to simply pick up the phone and call. So we text. Or leaves posts on each other’s wall. Or take the 5 minutes to write an email.
But is that really connecting?
Or are we just wasting our time?
Gee, I waste my time on Bejeweled and I love it. Such a wonderful escape. I’ve been planning to put the book I wrote back into the third person and self-publish but I’d much rather play Bejewelled!
See? You *could* have a best seller in the Kindle marketplace by now…
I agree Julie, I have had similar thoughts about how much time I waste on TV & internet when there are more worthwhile things I’d rather be doing. I am losing interest in Draw Something to, like Words with Friends before it, It’s the same reason I lost interest in Sudoku, which Ben Laurie described as “a denial of service attack on human intellect”.
I recently read this post which I found quite inspiring – “how to do what you want” – http://blog.beeminder.com/akrasia/ – Thinking of trying Beeminder or stickK to improve my willpower to do my writing/creative projects…
Also I don’t think it helps that the interfaces we use daily (Facebook, Twitter etc) are not designed to solve our overall daily information consumption needs. Each one serves its own provider’s objective and is limited to their content only. We need some sort of managed interface over all the stuff we consume, to better filter/organize it according to what’s important to us – One of the reasons I’m interested in the semantic web.
I think that if your mind needs some escapism – whatever the reason – you will find a way to get it in ‘whatever’. I read obsessively. I’ll hide in my house to read to the point where I will skip cooking dinner & just order a pizza for the family (just one more chapter…). It’s “reading”… it’s “good to read”, right!? But it’s more then that; it’s also escapism, it’s my way to disconnect from the crazy-busy-running-all-the-time-must-be-a-perfect-woman-who-does-it-all standards that I’m somehow supposed to live up to. I’d much rather read about Katniss & HER troubles or some other heroin fixing up HER life than actually deal with mine.
From what I gather, you work a full-time job & you are raising two kids. You keep a blog & you seem to like to cook as well. You probably also think that you should someday (or already have) run marathon, spend more time with you kids-friends-husband-general family. The list of “I should…” we pile up on ourselves is absolutely ridiculous. You play on your phone, and it’s relaxing and you turn your brain to off for a few minutes (who knows maybe this game is preventing you from getting alzheimer) but really, who cares? If you are actually chosing ‘that’ over other things it’s because you need it maybe. What you don’t need is another reason to feel “guilty”. 
[read your post about school xmas gifts]
Just saying…
Ha, thanks, Cynthia.
And you’re almost right. I just have no aspirations to run a marathon…
How I love your posts. You always manage to clearly (and seemlessly without effort) express subjects that run through my head. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. :
Thank you.
I totally agree with Severine. Wow, you really do write about subjects that resonate with me too! I’m in the throes of trying to find a balance – spending good time with my kids, cooking a delicious meal, having fun, doing household chores and maybe half an hour on Draw Something and Words with Friends!
Some days are better than others.
I hear you, Julie. I feel sad about all the novels I’m missing out on as I let myself get sucked into updating my status and liking stuff online for far more time than makes any sense.
Cynthia,
I can vouch for Julie. She has no desire to run in a marathon.
I don’t do social games at all. I’m a recovered gaming addict that nearly sacrificed my university degree for “just a few more minutes” of online euchre and old-fashioned, “unsocial” solitaire. But I do waste a tremendous amount of time on the internet. Sometimes watching TV — an actual show with a narrative and dialogue and character development — feels like it’s one of the best thing I could be doing. I hear you, in short.